What to Do When Your Orgasm Just Won’t Come
By Yanique Bell.
Is your orgasm feeling elusive? Maybe she pops up when you’re playing solo, but like a shy house cat, she hides away when visitors come near. Maybe you can find her with your partner, but not so much when you’re searching solo. Or maybe it doesn’t matter who’s home, company or no company, she’s nowhere to be seen, leaving you to wonder, Do I even have a cat?? You’re not going crazy. Your kitty isn’t keeping secrets, you just need to lure her out with the right ingredients.
Whether you’re struggling to orgasm when playing solo or when you’re having sex with a partner, or you’ve never had an orgasm before, here’s the 3-ingredient orgasmic potion that will make your pussy sing, every time:
The 3 Main Components of An Orgasm
There are 3 main components to every orgasm that, when combined, will get your orgasm to come out of hiding:
- Pleasure
Your ability to feel pleasure is the foundation of your orgasm. Many people assume this aspect is set in stone – you either feel it or you don’t, but this simply isn’t the case. You can increase your sensitivity to pleasure, making places that once felt numb highly pleasurable to the touch. You can also increase your tolerance for more pleasure, allowing your body to welcome waves of higher intensity or longer orgasms in general.
- Movement
Once you have the first ingredient, you can add the second ingredient: movement. This isn’t necessarily physical movement, though it can be. This has more to do with the movement of pleasure or sexual energy in your body. Many women aren’t aware of this but you can direct the flow of your pleasure to guide your orgasmic experiences. Directing your pleasure into your vagina, anus, or breasts, can create orgasmic contractions in these areas.
- The Shift
As your pleasure grows in intensity and the energy is free to flow, we invite the third component: a mental shift. This can be a shift into a surrendered state or altered state of consciousness. In this step, we immerse ourselves in our senses and the flow of pleasure, allowing the momentum to tip us over into a delicious release. While this doesn’t have to be accompanied by an emotional or spiritual shift, some of the most satisfying orgasms are. Here we surrender to the intensity of sensation that has built up and ride the waves of pleasure as they come.
Identifying Where Your Orgasm is Hiding
In order to find your elusive orgasm, you’ll need to identify which of these ingredients are missing. Is it that you feel mentally occupied or self-conscious during sex with your partner and so you can never really allow “the shift” when with them, but find it easy to let go and enjoy yourself when alone? Is it that you just don’t feel much when you try to stimulate your clitoris or vagina and so you just don’t have much pleasure to work with? Are you being racked with toxic shame, making it difficult to enjoy sex and follow your orgasmic impulses during sex?
Your body is often telling you exactly where your orgasm is being blocked, you just need to know the right place to look.
Your Orgasm is Just a Few Sessions Away…
Not being able to orgasm can create a lot of shame and pressure in our relationships, leading many women to fake their orgasms or avoid sex entirely, creating even further strain in the relationship.
If you’re tired of feeling anxious about sex and stressed about whether or not you’re going to be able to orgasm this time around, I want to help you take the guesswork out of your orgasm, so you can finally relax and enjoy sex, whether you’re having it solo or with a partner.
Contrary to popular opinion, orgasms are not innate biological traits, like our walking gait or hair texture. They are a learnable skill. You can train your body to orgasm in new ways and in new places (or for the first time)! With the right tools, anything is possible in your body.
I help people who are struggling with their orgasm identify and resolve the missing ingredient, so they can orgasm reliably and effortlessly. If you’d like coaching support to become your most orgasmic and potent self, claim a Private Coaching spot or Book a 60-minute Consultation today at https://yaniquebell.com/intimacycoaching
